Written By: TylerFirst of all, we want to sincerely thank each and every person who has already helped us in our adoption journey - from financial support and gifts to prayer and guidance. We have scheduled our home study visits and hope to complete our portion of the home study by early March. Once our home study is approved, we will pay a $3,000 U.S. processing fee "to facilitate [our] adoption with agency and government officials in both the United States and Korea." Then our first wait begins: we will wait to hear from Holt about a referral. Typically, this process takes between 4-6 months, but it can vary due to any number of factors. OlympicsToday, I ran across a special story of two sisters who are playing hockey in the 2018 Olympics in PyeongChang: Adoption is powerful in so many ways. Though we have no idea what Lucia and our child's future will hold, we sincerely hope that they will share a sibling bond similar to that of Marissa and Hannah Brandt. If you have an interest in helping our family, please consider the Olympics Donation Game:
Lunar New Year (Seollal 설날)One of the most important holidays in Korea is actually a three day celebration consisting of the day before, the day of, and the day after Lunar New Year. Most of the time, Korean New Year occurs on the same day as Chinese New Year, but there are some cultural differences between the holidays: This year, Seollal falls on Friday, February 16th. Though not specifically mentioned in the video, children in Korea will typically bow to their elders and wish them good fortune. In turn, elders reward children with new year's money in silk bags, along with offering words of wisdom. We will be spending this year eating some Korean cuisine while setting aside some money for our adoption fund. Please consider celebrating with us and make a donation to our adoption fund via PayPal using [email protected] as the recipient or our AdoptTogether fundraising page, where you can make a tax-deductible donation. T-ShirtsLast year, my talented sister created a Spanish spirit wear t-shirt for Hillary. Some of Hillary's coworkers took note of her shirt and suggested that we offer the t-shirts for sale. Hillary will be passing out order forms at her school on Tuesday (2/13). Though the shirts are primarily intended for students, parents, and staff at the school, we would like to offer the same opportunity to anyone reading this post. We are selling the t-shirts for $15 each. If you are interested in purchasing one or more t-shirts, please contact us via email. We have set the deadline for orders as March 1st. Wish ListAs we prepare for adoption, we continue to come across some fantastic resources, including books, movies, and other adoption-related items. Recently, my professor generously purchased Korean Children's Favorite Stories and a hanbok for an American Girl doll. If you would like to help us prepare as our family grows, please take a look through our Adoption Wish List on Amazon. The items are listed in the order they were added (not in priority order). Thank YouWe are thrilled to be going through the adoption process, and we know it takes a village. We are incredibly grateful to each and every one of you for helping us turn this dream into a reality.
Written By: TylerBranding is important. We are acutely aware of this reality as companies spend millions of dollars for their chance to reach an audience during the Super Bowl. Some advertisers create lasting impressions, while others miss the mark. The same holds true for important public issues. Take global climate change, for instance. Originally, scientists spoke frequently about the phenomenon of “global warming” because annual average temperatures were rising. Unfortunately, some individuals have confused climate with weather, and almost annually, people would get in front of a camera to show how cold and snowy it was outside “despite global warming.” Although these individuals were misinterpreting the situation completely, a shift toward focusing on “global climate change” occurred in an effort to correct misconceptions. As with global climate change, a branding problem currently affects a term that refers to how advantages and disadvantages develop in a society due to prejudice and racism: white privilege. I have no doubts that some people reading this already have negative feelings welling up inside, and others may have already stopped reading. In part, this is due to a branding issue. When people hear “privilege,” it is almost always associated with material wealth, so people begin to think of wealthy persons of color and poor white people as proof that privilege does not exist. Gina Crosley-Corcoran wrote a blog post about how (understandably) frustrating it is for white Americans in poverty to hear that they are “privileged” when they see no opportunities in their futures. She came to realize “people can be privileged in some ways and definitely not privileged in others. There are many different types of privilege, not just skin-color privilege, that impact the way people can move through the world or are discriminated against. These are all things you are born into, not things you earned, that afford you opportunities that others may not have.” Whether it would be better to educate the public on what privilege actually means or to begin utilizing another term for the same concept (as was done with climate change) is a debate for another day. Instead, I would like to (briefly) focus on unpacking the concept itself. Hillary and I have been going through online parenting and adoption classes, and some of the material has focused on racism and living as a multiracial family. One webinar we watched was created by Steve Kalb – a Korean adoptee who grew up in Iowa. His experiences seem particularly relevant to us, as it is likely we will adopt a Korean boy (approximately 80% of intercountry adoptions from Korea are boys), who will be raised in the Midwest. In December, Holt published a blog post written by Steve about his feelings of being alone in a moment when he was walking on the street and a random man shouted, “Hey! Go back to China!” It is astonishing that things like that still happen in this day and age, but it goes to show that we still have a long way to progress as a culture. While it is entirely possible that I could get yelled at while walking down the street (and I have), I have little fear that anyone will make rude and insensitive comments about me – a stranger – based upon my perceived race. Social scientists would label that as privilege, but whatever you would like to call it, it is something I do not normally have to consider because of the way I look. Of course, this takes on new significance as we prepare our home for our child. When Lucia was born, I became more acutely aware of what it will be like for her growing up as a woman in our society, but I did not fear she would experience racism directed at her. Similarly, our preparations for adoption have started to help us better understand what our child may experience and how we should process those experiences as a family. Recently, these ideas have moved from merely theoretical to practical. In particular, I encountered two separate instances of ignorance in under 24 hours. First, someone I know took to Facebook to complain about DACA and began making racists comments. In the past, I would have recognized the comments as horribly offensive, but I did not have the same feeling of compulsion to address such remarks because, as a white person, I was not the target of his rage. Again, whether you want to call that privilege or something else, I am not directly affected by DACA or this person's comments. However, such prejudice and hatred is wrong, and I recognize that it could just as easily be directed at our child. Just as Dreamers had no say in whether they were brought into the United States or not, Hillary and I are the ones who are making that decision for our child. Thus, I feel more obligation to correct the ignorance because I do not want it to go unchecked and become normalized because it will undoubtedly affect our child. The second situation did not involve any malice, but it still represented a learning opportunity. I spoke to someone about our adoption at church, and that person asked about why it is “so difficult to adopt American babies.” Based upon this person's reaction, it seemed clear that they were not referring to the complexities of international adoption and whether it is preferential to leave a child in an orphanage or foster home in their native culture rather than adopting them into a new culture. Rather, it seemed they simply thought it makes more sense to adopt American children before pursuing intercountry adoption. I took this conversation as an opportunity to explain the differences between domestic infant adoption, foster care adoption, and international adoption. Though I wish I would have been more eloquent in how I communicated it, I explained how international adoption is the right fit for our family at this time. I also informed them that Hillary and I are open to pursuing another type of adoption in the future, as our family situation changes. Even though we have not even completed our home study yet, we are becoming more aware of the topics of privilege, racism, and being a multiracial family. Obviously, we are still learning, and our experiences will certainly change once we have finalized our adoption. The education process – for both ourselves and others – will be a lifelong endeavor. It will come with its ups and downs, but we feel it is a challenge worth undertaking. We can help create a better world one step at a time, one interaction at a time, one person at a time. |
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